I wake up at 7 am on a Saturday morning with not much to look forward to – except the amazing morning tea that is a regular joy in my life. But of course I laze in the bed for another one and a half hours just waiting for my cook to show up at her regular time. The cook knows ‘Didi’ will ask for her chai as soon as she is up and then multiple times during the course of the day. She makes my tea, makes my meal, does other random chores in the kitchen (chores I wouldn’t ever want to do or remember to do) until the other woman who does cleaning & mopping shows up. That one is skillful and silent. She does so much in the house and yet somehow manages to always remain out of my sight and out of my way. That’s how I prefer it too. I don’t have the bandwidth to listen to their stories & family drama. I mean, I value random chatter with most people most of the times. But with these, I just want them to do their job and leave.
Let me mention this - I treat them
respectfully. I often get angry but never scream. But I ignore them. I treat
them as insignificant people who magically need to do their jobs perfectly and
leave. Besides, the skill level I am expecting is beyond the roof & it’s difficult
to meet standards some maids have met in the past.
However, it’s worthwhile to note
that these two are the only people I see every day, regularly. I wake up to
them and finish my day with them. They take care of me, my house and my food.
They are always available for a conversation if I want to have one. They adjust
their timings, their family life, their convenience for me (and the salary of
course). And they kind of love me, in a
weird way. They are dutiful and consider me ‘didi who lives akeli and is not
scared to live by herself’. On the other hand, my relationship with them is
purely task-based. Still, I don’t want to imagine a day without them in my
life.
I am okay to go on without my
family but not without them. These are the women who are quintessential to how
I feel, what I do and what I achieve in my day. This is my biggest support
group and most dedicated cheerleaders for me. If I smile, they do too. If I am
upset, they ask me what went wrong. They occupy minimum emotional space while
providing for so much support. And the most amazing part is they don’t even know
how much they contribute to my life. And they don’t know that their output is
way more than the menial tasks they are paid for.
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| This picture has been clicked with consent. |
They ensure I can focus on my ‘important
work’ or I can trash the place without the responsibility of cleaning it up.
They ensure I have the free time to while away & write blogs. It’s them who
really empower me to go out and take on the world. Or pamper myself with a face
pack when I am free. They ensure I am served and treated well. And honestly,
there’s no amount that’s enough for this kind of service (to anyone).
And yet I remain non-committal and hugely
un-obligated. Living away in my imagined glory of where I’ve come in my life.
And sometimes being smug about challenges I’ve overcome. Conveniently
forgetting to account for gigantic & numerous contributions made by this
invisible support system without which, not just free time & fun life would
be un-imaginable, but also the relationships we have and workload we manage would
get extremely strained.
The initial and complete lockdown
gave us a glimpse of this.
I do not want to forget the things I
learnt in 2020. I do not want to get back to who we were before Covid. I do not
want to be ungrateful, about anything or anyone.
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| Hair photobombing nicely. |
Saturday Morning Ramble!
