Serbia Part I - First impressions of the country and its people

Serbia Part I - First impressions of the country and its people

So finally, I have managed to take a vacation in the raging and difficult times of covid. My mother let me go with much reluctance, worried for my safety, and in general, worried about letting an adult-child travel unnecessarily. It took me a couple of conversations to drive the necessity of a vacation home and the fact that 'You-Only-Live-Once'. 

Anyway, so we made our way to the only European country that lets Indians enter without a visa and has no quarantine rules whatsoever. It's relatively cheap, easy to access and provides beautiful vibes of eastern and central European culture & couture. 

Skadarlija, Belgrade

Before we flew out, my mother made me promise her just one thing - that I will record my trip in blogs and vlogs since I loved it so much and had lately almost stopped any blogging. Frankly, the hustle of working at home has been leaving no virgin leaf of my mind to turn its colour. 

We made an 11-day plan out of which we planned 7 and kept 4 aside for life to show us what it had in store. Landed in Belgrade, the capital of Serbia, after two flights spanning 7 odd hours from Dubai. When you go anywhere new, the first thing that strikes you is the feeling of the air as you leave the airport. The Belgrade airport is small and basic - very easy to navigate, so we got out early enough to find our hotel transfer taxi person waiting for us. We followed him to the parking and were struck with clean cold air that felt light due to the abundant sunshine. We felt happy and at ease. 

@Old Town, Belgrade 

The Asians, the Indians, the browns were finally in Europe to vacation. Yay!

 The country at large and Belgrade, in particular, has a young but relaxed vibe. People are chilling at parks and e-cycling around. People walk miles daily, which I believe is the secret behind their fitness. They are a lot into all kinds of sports too. The public facilities and culture of playing sports daily are strikingly obvious. Evenings are hues of blu-ish pink, which bring about Belgrade's dining and partying culture. Surprisingly, many people have opted to become vegetarians, and there's absolutely no dearth of great food - meat and otherwise in this country.

The only surviving bridge from WW2

I am a sucker for places with a water body, preferably an ocean. But the two majestic rivers ensure there's more than enough here to keep one's soul calm and happy. The Danube and Sava run across the country and merge at Belgrade to make a rather choppy confluence. We were fortunate to find ourselves on a boat cruise to experience the same and met a charming couple from Hungary. That evening is worthy of an independent post, so I am going to savour it a bit more before sharing it :)

Overall, Serbia seems to be at the crossroads of adapting to the individualistic modern western values while keeping its traditional, family-oriented, deep-rooted culture intact. It seems to have taken a stand to not emulate Western Europe but seek development in a controlled fashion. 

 I could draw some parallels with Indian society, which struck me -an underlying & silently practised thread of patriarchy and pre-determined gender roles and the structural importance of families. But more on this later, when I get to have an in-person conversation with you.  

The confluence of Danube & Sava at Belgrade

This is my 5th day in Serbia, and while I will try to write a trip advisor kind of entry soon, I am now going to focus on some first impressions of Serbs I've had so far (not to forget, Tesla had me biased already ;)

1. Serbs are very warm people. They are friendly to the extent that they'll go out of their way to help you. People walking down the streets will smile and let you pet their dogs. They all seem to have dogs. 

Despite their disconcerting political and cultural history, marred by invasions, struggle for borders, forms of terrorism and identity wars, these guys have evolved to be a bunch of very welcoming people. They will chat with you if you want to or leave you alone to do your thing. "Jiyo aur jeene do" done nicely.

2. They're excellent in English. Definitely, the ones below 40 or so know amazing English, making Serbia easy to navigate and live in. 

They seem to also have points of view on global events and come across as people interested in knowing about stuff in general.

3. They are nice towards Indians. 

A lot of them have watched Bollywood movies or have eaten Indian food. The two biggest exports of India (apart from Yoga) have done their jobs well. They also like us because they kind of hate the British, Americans and French. Hehe. They almost extend a hand of solidarity for having subtly shared oppression. They also tend to think of Indians as non-aggressive and non-violent. Still, it is only very recently they've started to have an influx of Indians, so maybe they should take time and validate their early judgement.

4. They hate their government. They openly criticize the corruption in the country and don't want to take vaccines. However, about 40% of Serbia has had double vaccination, and there is almost no masking policy in open areas. In closed spaces, masking is suggested but not at all enforced. "Sab Apna Apna dekh lo" 

We've been trying to be as careful as possible, but what the hell, we're double vaccinated. Jo Hoga Dekha jayega. Remember, YOLO?

*Hot Revelation by Taxi Driver from Airport to Hotel: The Sheikh of Abu Dhabi is massively investing in Belgrade to develop its waterfront across the Sava river. They'll be building luxury malls, office spaces and luxury hotels. Very Arabia style. Creepily extravagant (read arrogant). How long will Belgrade hold onto its current very distinctive identity is anyone's guess.*

5. Oh, and they're hot AF. All women, all men are good looking, well dressed, fit with pretty faces. What more do I have to say here? Never seen so many cute people in one city. Belgrade is heaven for finding hotness for sure. 

One fun thing I encountered quite a bit on my trip was that people really seemed to know Priyanka Chopra. So every time I mentioned my name Priyanka, the response I got was "As in Chopra?" and that was umm, a couple of laughs and a great ice-breaker. 

So much more to tell about Serbia. 

India's Gold Win at Olympics today has made this day even more special. Such a power @Neeraj Chopra.

Signing off from Serbia's prettiest city tonight, Novi Sad. 

With Love,

Calm Outside. Screaming Inside.

I have been often accused of being calmer than they think I ‘should be’.  What they don’t see is the internal fire & turmoil I bleed through as I keep a calm countenance for the outside world. In my head, ‘What’s really the point?’

Is it hopelessness? 

Is it elegance?

Is it an outcome of a certain conditioning that rejects considering a reaction, an action?

Is it over-emphasis on a certain approach that defines ‘hard-work’ as the only way through all situations?

    This over-emphasis & conditioning, I reckon is an eye-wash. This truly is an unfair world which works on unfair principles, or better, lack of them.

    I had believed myself to be unstoppable as a young woman. Someone who could get ‘anything’ done that she set her mind to. I was that raring hot blood who wanted to prove to the world that she could do anything, anyone else could. Just, better.

    I insisted on handling my finances, my house, my living conditions and everything else myself. I insisted on gaining full control of life and doing things that were traditionally supposed to be outside the purview of a young woman. I believed if I worked hard & stayed determined, the system couldn’t throw me off. I was so wrong. 

     I insisted I'd ensure to have equal rights & opportunities as the most privileged in this world. I was setting goals that seemed achievable because I had no clue how many forces were work-in-progress to push the tide completely against me.

First Force: My gender & nationality

    I used to work in field sales earlier in my career which required me to travel distances without breaks for hours and without access to clean toilets.(May I remind those who might be confused about what this means: "Women in India don't have clean public toilets because 'MEN' don't need them.") 

This had compelled a subconscious habit of drinking little water. My mind wanted to avoid the annoyance. Silly little youthful mind. Months of dehydration gave rise to a life-threatening UTI that plagued my body & kidneys for two years.

These years forced me to opt out of work, break a long-term & committed relationship, fail in exams & be bed ridden or hospitalized during & around 8 surgical procedures.

This was when I was 25-26. When all my friends got married & vacationed in Europe.

    The system had played against my will. It broke me down. My ego & pride were put down in place. Imagine, poor public-sanitation giving a young girl anxiety & depression.

Something that plagued me longer than I’d imagined.

 Second force: My gender & religion

    Marriages are supposed to be civil affairs. Although, in the society that surround us, it is a complex obligation of not just the civil society, but religious tenets, class-reputation, gender-roles & entrenched patriarchy in both the genders.

    I mean, my health had recovered. My mind had a new perspective. I was ready to go again. This time, as a gentler person. More grateful for life and more accepting of people & their ways.

    I was happy to have got another chance at re-instating my pride. Back at work again & life going alright (couldn’t have gotten worse from a certain point, so yeah, hurrah), I was perhaps readying my heart for love once again.

    Of-course it was mildly broken a bit here & there but eventually I met someone I could completely be myself with. We fell in love.

    This time, love meant different things. It meant individuality. It meant trust. It meant ‘no-shackles’. But alas, if you are 28 year old single woman in love, you can’t stay away from the conversations of ‘the holy union’ (seriously, whatever).

    We both gave-in. We both were scared & unprepared (him, more than me). But long-entrenched figments of patriarchy, looking down upon women as 2^nd grade human-beings, shitty-family drama, unrealistic expectations & uncomfortable situations surfaced. The hollowness of the institution came to its absolute fore which doesn’t inspire anyone with hopes of a happier, brighter life.

And kids who condemn it and don’t buy into it are, plain-Jane ‘outliers’.

    Ok dude. I’d rather live on the edge of inclusivity than live chained & suffocated.

    And boom. Broken again. Confidence. Pride. Hopes. And heart.

I realize it’s not the individuals, it’s an entire collective system that works against everyone who is marginalized. For any reason, their gender or religion or nationality or sexual preferences.

It doesn’t end.

But I am kind of done.

And therefore, I stay calm when I am expected to scream. No point. I am going to save my strength to do something better – not that I know what that ‘better is’. Just differently. Purely as a matter of principle. Haha.