28th March 2020 - 4th DAY OF COMPLETE LOCK-DOWN OF INDIA

15^TH DAY OF MY SOCIAL ISOLATION

970 POSITIVE, 23 DEAD, 80 RECOVERED

General feeling: “Today’s vibe was rather decent yet strange. It’s comes in when you’ve realized that worrying won’t get you anywhere. So you do the best you can and leave it up to time. Some would say, leave it up to God. I would say, ‘life’ J”

Below is an intrusive picture of a slum right next to my society. As you can see, the common play area is some-what deserted. People are probably trying their best.

Woke up in the morning rather early for a Saturday. Was annoyed at myself for not wanting to sleep more. Where are those days when 11 am on a Saturday was the norm?  I was glad that there were no work calls to attend. Feeling of a holiday, yay! Soon my spirits tendered when I realized we only had 2 days enough of drinking water left and Bisleri dealer had refused to deliver cans. Ugh. Wished there was an RO around. Anyway, my desi-self kicked in and I remembered the old good days when boiled tap water was good enough to drink! I was happy that there was an easy solution for at least this one problem.

The day went by thinking about the Great John Milton and the promise of his ‘Paradise Lost’ that I had to begin reading. An old friend & I have jointly taken up the project of studying some classic literature while at the lock-down. But my beautiful day dreams were constantly being disturbed with mundane obligations of cleaning, cooking and then cleaning once again. Somehow the day went by without achieving much but going about the chores and ruminating about the world situation somewhere at the corner of my mind.

Ended up speaking to a friend for more than an hour – the call was interesting because he made me realize that the only thing he’s really spoken to me about, has been Corona. It struck me that I’ve been so captivated with the situation that there’s hardly anything else I feel interested to talk about. Corona has got me after all, I guess. (Dark humor, here! I don’t mean it in any sense, literal or otherwise).

I immediately decided to take the feedback and challenged him to come up with something more interesting than Covid. He just laughed and by the time he could finish laughing, I had thought of five random awkward but fun things to tell him. Went on and on about strange topics like my extreme fear of crows and how I spent a night psychoanalyzing a lizard so that I could manage to lock it in the washroom to my sense of righteousness even as a young child. Until I chanced upon the matter of the elderly in the family. I’ve been fortunate enough to have met and interacted with some of my great grandparents and how this fact makes my life more complete. It feels like I’ve traversed a very long journey in which four generations have existed in some compelling frames of space & time. These frames are special. For our memories make us who we are. Is it not?

Memories are extremely complex. Their strength depends on how much we remember them. And how much we remember them depends on how strong they were. It’s really co-dependent, chicken & egg kind of a scenario. And when I come to think of it, it’s true for so many other complex concepts & relationships.

Love, for example, is extremely complex. Its strength depends on how much we practice it. And how much we practice it depends on how strong that love is. Human mind is as complex as it is beautiful. And so is human life.

The Hindu philosophy of life that my mother had taught me placed human life at the top of the specialty pyramid. Science places us at the top of the evolutionary pyramid. Seems like an acceptable theory, right?

However, apart from our great brains and thumbs, we have the potential to have great hearts. We have an innate capacity to exceed ourselves, week after week, year after year, generation after generation. This is probably a moment in history, which has given us this one rare opportunity to rise above ourselves. To acknowledge that we’re smaller than the grain of sand. That we’re dependent on coexistence with others. Other genders, races, populations and species. Can Covid-19 lock-down then, bring about a changed world order?

Probably not. What it may bring about, however are uncomfortable questions and their truthful answers in front of those, who are in positions of influence. Or who can strive to be in them.

The choices we make today and in the future need to be made with our complex brains but guided with our deeper hearts. That in itself will be revolutionary enough.

Signing off on a higher note today, than yesterday.

Realizing every-day that it was not ‘Ignorance’ that was a bliss, it was ‘Acceptance’.

Until tomorrow, keep washing your hands J

PS 1 : I stepped out today to help get one can of water. The journey to the society gate and back was almost as terrifying as being in a war zone. Everyone seemed to me as a walk-talking Covid transmitter. What a fucked up time, really!