1st APRIL 2020 8th DAY OF COMPLETE LOCK-DOWN OF INDIA

19^TH DAY OF MY SOCIAL ISOLATION

2010 POSITIVE, 55 DEAD, 169 RECOVERED

General feeling: “It was a pretty volatile day. From being aloof to being extremely low to finally recovering towards the evening. It already feels like the lock-down is making some of us complacent. We’re beginning to shift focus from a larger problem to our personal first-world issues like boredom, loneliness and anxiety. For many more others, food and shelter is still a task at hand.”

Spoke to one of my oldest and closest friends today after a long time. The thing with the two of us is that we hardly speak about ourselves. We only speak about what’s happening around. I guess that’s normal when two empaths talk. He’s in Delhi and was apprising me of how the ground-situation of migrant laborers is. This guy has been trying to do his bit. Trying to find genuine ways to help. With food, with money or just by lending an ear.

I quote him here: “Everywhere you turn, there’s a glaring tragedy to hear. Some people haven’t eaten for 3 days. They have no money. Some have been beaten by the police. Some have been looted by the police. Some kids have been starving and crying. The society has completely dis-owned them. The government, even perhaps with good intentions has been unable to deal with the scale of the problem. The civil society, the- you and me, are busy taking Instagram challenges. Thousands, not just from Delhi, but across the country are now walking thousands of miles, devoid of information, communication, protection, food, shelter and empathy”

That’s the state of this lock down. While I agree that the lock down was unplanned and not operationalized well (just like most policies of our central government), I wonder if planning for it was even possible. Locking down an entire country is not an easy decision to take for any state’s premier. And I am certain that minute to minute consultations with experts led to a decision as sudden as this.

The poor and the voiceless, however, should not become the collateral to give away in this scenario. We know what the governments must do. We should however also think, what we must do. It’s not possible for most of us to help them physically.  But what we can do is below:-

1. Give them voice – Speak out on issues. Report ground realities. Empathize with people. Keep them in your prayers. Most importantly, inform those who are not aware. And please, do not bring in communal biases.

2. Help local groups who are trying to provide essentials to this stranded lot. Help them with money, water, food, soap, masks, basic medicines, anything. Over this week, I’ll be collating a list of several such groups and posting it in this blog.

3. Avoid wasteful usage of anything. Food, water, electricity. These resources are limited and we’re lucky to have them handy.

4. Do not hoard. While I understand, it makes for safer next few weeks, it’s really more peace of mind and the option of gulping down as much as we’d like. Security of food is a basic human right which is not available to many. So let’s respect rationing, for now at the least.

5. Donate blood. Blood banks are being organized in a very careful manner by local authorities, ensuring 6 ft spacing, time-slots with appointments etc. There is no substitute for human blood and there are treatments which can’t be stalled. Cardiac surgeries, deliveries and cancer treatments, all require blood.

How do you do it?

It is not necessary that each one of us gets down to the streets. In-fact, it is not recommended either given that lock-down is meant so we socially isolate.  There are big organizations and funds like ISCON and PM Relief Fund etc. but the transparency and tractability of these is always surrounded with skepticism. Therefore below are a few groups who you can reach out to (I will continue to update this list).

1.    Insta Handle : Anaa Peshimam

Donate INR 1000/- for a food kit for a family of four

https://www.ketto.org/fundraiser/helping-families-of-daily-wage-earners-affected-by-job-loss-due-to-covid-19?utm_source=internal&utm_medium=whatsappShare&utm_campaign=helping-families-of-daily-wage-earners-affected-by-job-loss-due-to-covid 19&utm_content=370665445e89646487b5c2139f8fd26e&shby=1undefined

    2. Insta Handle : srloveandcar
       Donate any amount starting from a meager INR 50/-

https://l.instagram.com/?u=http%3A%2F%2Floveandcare.srmd.org%2Fcoronavirus-relief&e=ATNcmvW59PfnGnD0Ib1mqyoVxxAiYuD6xpKVaNTtegIAZvBNJ-OiiO_T3-xtbanoC-75ONHK0zCR2Tap&s=1

http://www.srloveandcare.org/coronavirus-relief

      3. Roti Ghar

Donate to feed across Mumbai Metropolitan Area

Make donations to 9769181218 via Paytm or Google Pay.

Link:- https://www.facebook.com/rotigharofficial/

    4. Insta Handle: officialyuva

Donate INR 600/week for a bag that includes wheat, rice, oil & soap.

https://l.instagram.com/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fbit.ly%2FSpreadLoveNotCorona&e=ATNWZQC97yuCTpT4_OrdF_OnsarYZBPvAsvkdj0UZSAMLoXJ7iRxR4_Zeyr0av4cpXnC4wkp4K9yVBAh&s=1

     5.  The Rasoi on Wheels Foundation

    Insta Handle: - rasoionwheels

   Can paytm/bank-transfer

6. For #Aurangabad:-

During current lockdown most affected are the people who earn their livelihood daily. Waste paper & plastic pickers, house maids, labourers on daily wage etc are few of them. Government help has not reached to these people so far. Therefore we are trying to reach support to at least about 500 such families in first phase. It costs aruond Rs 1500 / - for one family for 15 days ration. Thus for 500 families Rs.  7,50,000 /- will be required.
We, the following signatories, appeal to you to contribute as much as you can for this cause.

Regards,

            Principal Pratap Borade, Adv Prakash Paranjpe, Subhash Lomte, Dnyaanaprakash Modani, Adv Manohar Tankalsal, Prof. Vijay Diwan, Pradeep Khelurkar, Dr. Rashmi Borikar, Mangal Khinwasra, Dr. Iqbal Minne, Dr. Surfaraj Sheikh, Prof. Sriram Jadhav, Dr Nirmala Asolekar.

Pl transfer your contributions to following account.

A / C Name: Aurangabad Zilla Sarvoday Mandal,
Bank : *Saraswst Co-Op Bank ltd, Garkheda,  Bank A / C No: 098200100002870.
IFSCode: SRCB0000098.

7. Seeds India
Link:- http://www.seedsindia.org/covid19/

Donate 500/- for a week's ration of a family of 5
Donate 1500/- one family's hygiene kit for a month
Donate 5000/- Support daily wage earners who have lost their jobs and shelters to stay

You can bank transfer/paytm here:- https://www.seedsindia.org/donation/?donation_for=covid19

PS:- Giving money is the easiest way to help. Please do not consider yourself absolved and done if you’ve made a bank transfer. Physical help, getting supplies, managing to get essential items and delivering them to the last mile takes selflessness, courage and a great deal of emotion. Money is an important but just one part.

I'll be soon be sharing details of where blood can be donated. 

Until then, peace to everyone

31st March 2020 – 7th DAY OF COMPLETE LOCK-DOWN OF INDIA

18^TH DAY OF MY SOCIAL ISOLATION

1585 POSITIVE, 47 DEAD, 148 RECOVERED

General Feeling:- “Of settling in. Slowly internalizing that this is how life is going to be for the next couple of weeks. So how does one make the most of it?”

I've tried to put up a video today. Experimenting with different formats, lest the boredom sets in.

Ideally, a social media platform would be apt for something like this but there's already too much noise there and shouting out loud is really not my style.

So here goes:-

Links to various claims in the video:-

AAP

https://www.indiatoday.in/india/story/coronavirus-outbreak-delhi-govt-converts-schools-into-night-shelters-for-migrants-fleeing-state-1660701-2020-03-28

https://realty.economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/residential/government-to-pay-rent-if-tenants-fail-to-do-so-delhi-cm/74881255

NYC
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/31/coronavirus-latest-updates.html

https://www.livemint.com/news/world/us-coronavirus-cases-surge-past-115-000-donald-trump-mulls-new-york-quarantine-11585416881947.html

Brazil:-
https://www.livemint.com/news/world/brazil-s-bolsonaro-urges-no-more-coronavirus-quarantine-says-jobs-being-lost-11585613027222.html

https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/gangs-enforce-coronavirus-curfews-in-brazil/

Court Case against China

https://www.outlookindia.com/website/story/india-news-bihar-complaint-against-chinese-prez-ambassador-to-india-for-spreading-coronavirus/348888

https://www.theweek.in/news/world/2020/03/24/20-trillion-lawsuit-in-us-against-china-for-using-covid-19-as-biological-weapon.html

30th March 2020 - 6th DAY OF COMPLETE LOCK- DOWN OF INDIA

17^TH DAY OF MY SOCIAL ISOLATION

1071 POSITIVE, 29 DEAD, 100 CURED

General feeling: “The new normal that people are speaking about is now seeming like something that could really be. Still convincing myself to prepare for this. An online personality is all what we will be living with for some-time to come. Is that personality your Insta account or your Facebook profile? Who are you, digitally? But more importantly, who are you?"

Today, I am penning down a poem. I have a feeling, some of you may have gotten fatigued with the long paragraphs that I usually post. So let’s try, spinning another art form of expression.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am sorry, I have joked about it

I am sorry, I have demanded work from home as human rights

I am sorry I failed to see beyond the sensation

Of news updates, of geo-political bytes

As thousands in the world die a painful death,

Unable to say goodbye,

Thank your luck in every breath

You may not be the one to die

As we accept the times that are,

And move ahead of denial

It’s unforgiving to be stoic

As the world goes through this trial

The new world order, they say

Is here to come and stay,

Unsure of what we are to become

For how many wounds, we are to pay

Uncertainty is testing our hearts

As loneliness, we continue to brave

It’s asking us of strength and valor

To finally let go,

Of the “normalcy”, we crave

Normal is nothing but an art of our own,

Your normal is perhaps my unknown

And yet for once, we together moan

Of the collective havoc, that we have wreaked

On nature, on earth, our crimes have peaked

And the alarm bell, today, as it rings

Deafens us with its deadly dings

Reminding us of what we’ve become

All the greed that we have heaped

As we face into the future through our virtual screens

Together learning the social scenes

Of Insta-handles and Facebook profiles

Losing ourselves to our ‘internet memes’

Divided we stand, together we fall

Who’d have taught could be a literal call?

But here we are, facing the heat

Mindlessly fighting to evade defeat

Maybe we will, I hope we shall

Be able to break an insecure wall

Of mistrust, of greed, of mindless disposition

Of struggle for power & No.1 position

Of crony capitalism,

Of cruel communism,

And their staunch & unforgiving brutes

Of dreadful experiments

Of deafening lies

And convenient alternate truths

Let hope tell us we’ll be human

In flesh & blood, in mind & heart

With emotion and empathy

As our guiding start.

29th March 2020 - 5th DAY OF COMPLETE LOCK-DOWN OF INDIA

16^TH DAY OF MY SOCIAL ISOLATION

1000 POSITIVE, 27 DEAD, 86 RECOVERED

General feeling: “Life is a series of staircases that we have learnt, needs to be climbed only upwards. Some days however, compel us to climb down and stall our obsession with progression, upward or forward. We often get caught up in our linear understanding of time. Especially when in a house arrest. Especially when in a global catastrophe. Especially, when away from family”

Received a call from an old friend last night from North Carolina. She was junior at my bachelor college and we were very thick friends. She’s been trying to get me to talk about my break-up. I think she’s known me so close, she was genuinely concerned about how I am holding up & hence she was quite adamant that I spoke up about it.  But more importantly, she wanted to know my reasons, which she believed she already knew. She just needed to validate them. And that’s exactly what happened. We spoke for long and realized that some friendships, especially the ones we built in our early years are timeless. They exist strong and sensitive despite all boundaries. And when you speak to someone close from your past, you kind of feel in touch with yourself a lot more. I felt like myself again. I am glad, Shruti called. Despite the fact that she’s always given me the respect of a senior, she’s made sure to behave like mom whenever she felt the need to. So yesterday too, she left with me some well-timed advice that only someone who loves you and respects you can deliver.

Today, however didn’t turn out as nice as yesterday. Didn’t help that it was the first day of my chums. A heavy head, almost a migraine hovered over me all day. I felt pretty disinterested in most things, including Corona. Can you believe it? I didn’t consume too much news or entertainment today. Didn’t even talk to too many people through the day. Just wanted some sense of quiet and peace. Given the environment, I’ve relegated myself to my room and balcony for almost all of the time I spend at home. Today, my uncle advised me not to hang out in the balcony, lest anyone would spit something from the floors above. Such strange problems, we Indians have to go through. Just because we’re not taught manners and concerns for others. It is immaterial whether one is rich or poor. Educated or not, good manners don’t need institutions or privileges. Good manners only need a good culture.

So let’s for once stop touting about our culture as superior. Cleanliness, public behavior, waste-disposal is not ingrained in our current culture. And even those with big homes and cars who can very well afford dustbins, prefer to spit & throw things out in the open. I am not sure why I am upset about it today. It’s not like I was expecting anything better. But anything that stops me from hanging out in my balcony is bound to upset me. This balcony is my only screen to a real, open world.

The day went by again in cooking and cleaning. Although today I cooked lesser and simpler food. Thank goodness for that. It’s really begun to tire me out. The staying-back-at-home seems to have started taking a toll. It’s leaving me tired and a little angry. I always have something to do and no time to while away. Whatever time I do have ends up in social obligations of calling. Apart from these obligations however, there are some calls I’ve voluntarily started to make. These are to those family members, who I love, but didn’t manage to make enough time for. The mamas, mausis, chachis of the world. And my dearest nana-nani.

Today I spoke to them over a call for good 40 minutes. They were all cramped in the drawing room of Nani’s home in Bharatpur, Rajasthan. It’s a ritual there to have dinner in the hall with the TV and all members of the house hang out there until Nana banishes everyone to go to bed. My maternal grandparents, uncle and his wife and their two adorable kids spoke to me, all at once. The kids were upset that I hadn’t visited them in years, flouting multiple promises made to them. Others were happy to see me. My business-man mama and I explored some ‘Baniya’ genes to discuss several business ideas. Good chat. Lifted my spirits up.

Order of below screenshots:- Nana, Choti Mami, Jai Mama Ji, Nani (the best nani ever!)

I also spoke to my other mama who’s based out of Jaipur. Now that he’s home and work seems to have completely stalled, I suggested to his wife to handover the kitchen to Mama. She obviously rolled her eyes and told me he wasn’t good for it at all. We both settled on ‘Chai’ being the only household duty that he could fulfill.

Despite these calls and conversations, the hidden truth is that I feel very lonely. I am beginning to feel worried for myself. I am not sure how long I can go on like this. My best estimate for this lock-down to be over is mid-may. That means 45 more days to go. I have a feeling I’ll exit this phase, as a different person altogether.

I am just secretly hoping, I don’t get too depressed, or too lonely. I hope I am able to find this virtual window to the world enough to keep me going. I am very well aware of my privileges and I know for a fact that I am in a far better situation than many others in this world, but just being honest.

I think I am tough. I think I am resilient. But perhaps, the real strength lies in not looking inwards too much. As of now there are too many apprehensions. I am just finding solace in what nana said today – “30-40 saalon mein aisi samasyaaein aati rehti hain”

So basically, the world has seen such times and worse before. And they’ve all come out of it. So shall we. Keeping fingers crossed. Saying silent prayers.

Until tomorrow, much love.

28th March 2020 - 4th DAY OF COMPLETE LOCK-DOWN OF INDIA

15^TH DAY OF MY SOCIAL ISOLATION

970 POSITIVE, 23 DEAD, 80 RECOVERED

General feeling: “Today’s vibe was rather decent yet strange. It’s comes in when you’ve realized that worrying won’t get you anywhere. So you do the best you can and leave it up to time. Some would say, leave it up to God. I would say, ‘life’ J”

Below is an intrusive picture of a slum right next to my society. As you can see, the common play area is some-what deserted. People are probably trying their best.

Woke up in the morning rather early for a Saturday. Was annoyed at myself for not wanting to sleep more. Where are those days when 11 am on a Saturday was the norm?  I was glad that there were no work calls to attend. Feeling of a holiday, yay! Soon my spirits tendered when I realized we only had 2 days enough of drinking water left and Bisleri dealer had refused to deliver cans. Ugh. Wished there was an RO around. Anyway, my desi-self kicked in and I remembered the old good days when boiled tap water was good enough to drink! I was happy that there was an easy solution for at least this one problem.

The day went by thinking about the Great John Milton and the promise of his ‘Paradise Lost’ that I had to begin reading. An old friend & I have jointly taken up the project of studying some classic literature while at the lock-down. But my beautiful day dreams were constantly being disturbed with mundane obligations of cleaning, cooking and then cleaning once again. Somehow the day went by without achieving much but going about the chores and ruminating about the world situation somewhere at the corner of my mind.

Ended up speaking to a friend for more than an hour – the call was interesting because he made me realize that the only thing he’s really spoken to me about, has been Corona. It struck me that I’ve been so captivated with the situation that there’s hardly anything else I feel interested to talk about. Corona has got me after all, I guess. (Dark humor, here! I don’t mean it in any sense, literal or otherwise).

I immediately decided to take the feedback and challenged him to come up with something more interesting than Covid. He just laughed and by the time he could finish laughing, I had thought of five random awkward but fun things to tell him. Went on and on about strange topics like my extreme fear of crows and how I spent a night psychoanalyzing a lizard so that I could manage to lock it in the washroom to my sense of righteousness even as a young child. Until I chanced upon the matter of the elderly in the family. I’ve been fortunate enough to have met and interacted with some of my great grandparents and how this fact makes my life more complete. It feels like I’ve traversed a very long journey in which four generations have existed in some compelling frames of space & time. These frames are special. For our memories make us who we are. Is it not?

Memories are extremely complex. Their strength depends on how much we remember them. And how much we remember them depends on how strong they were. It’s really co-dependent, chicken & egg kind of a scenario. And when I come to think of it, it’s true for so many other complex concepts & relationships.

Love, for example, is extremely complex. Its strength depends on how much we practice it. And how much we practice it depends on how strong that love is. Human mind is as complex as it is beautiful. And so is human life.

The Hindu philosophy of life that my mother had taught me placed human life at the top of the specialty pyramid. Science places us at the top of the evolutionary pyramid. Seems like an acceptable theory, right?

However, apart from our great brains and thumbs, we have the potential to have great hearts. We have an innate capacity to exceed ourselves, week after week, year after year, generation after generation. This is probably a moment in history, which has given us this one rare opportunity to rise above ourselves. To acknowledge that we’re smaller than the grain of sand. That we’re dependent on coexistence with others. Other genders, races, populations and species. Can Covid-19 lock-down then, bring about a changed world order?

Probably not. What it may bring about, however are uncomfortable questions and their truthful answers in front of those, who are in positions of influence. Or who can strive to be in them.

The choices we make today and in the future need to be made with our complex brains but guided with our deeper hearts. That in itself will be revolutionary enough.

Signing off on a higher note today, than yesterday.

Realizing every-day that it was not ‘Ignorance’ that was a bliss, it was ‘Acceptance’.

Until tomorrow, keep washing your hands J

PS 1 : I stepped out today to help get one can of water. The journey to the society gate and back was almost as terrifying as being in a war zone. Everyone seemed to me as a walk-talking Covid transmitter. What a fucked up time, really!

27th March 2020 - 3rd DAY OF COMPLETE LOCK-DOWN OF INDIA

14^TH DAY OF MY SOCIAL ISOLATION

851 POSITIVE, 20 DEAD

General feeling: “Not so much of paranoia anymore. Coming to terms with what it is and what it is likely to turn into. I am not sure if acceptance has eased out the fears or numbed them altogether. Around me, I see more and more people acknowledging the seriousness and novelty of the situation. Across the world, people are now speaking up. Of lack of early measures. Of lack of tools and tests. But sooner or later we’ll all have somethings to regret and somethings to forget.”

A twisted turn came to the fear already created by the novel Corona virus when Twitter blew up with the mention of 2018 K-Drama Series called ‘My Secret, Terrius’ which has evidently spoken of the Corona Virus exactly as we know it today. The 2-14 day incubation period, the respiratory symptoms, no known vaccine or cure and handwashing as a preventive mention. All of this is a series that was released about two years back and now playing out for real in 2020. It was freakishly scary. Seemed like the movie ‘Inception’ rolled into the series ’Black Mirror’ to me. This was the last piece of information I fed myself with, before sleeping last night. Not the most apt thing to read to put oneself to peaceful sleep but information overdose is my thing these days. Especially on Corona.

Tells me that if I’d ever decide to do a PHD, it would be on socio-psycho responses to threats created by our beautiful modern world of greed and power. The tribal populations were banished for distracting us with importance of ecological balance and bio-diversity. We chose to ignore them for our misconstrued world views and irrational unfounded fears about power struggle. I am referring to capitalism. I am referring to communism. I am referring to world orders that we abide by today.

On a personal front, today was much better. I woke up to attending several work calls through the day, sending emails and checking out decks after decks. There has been such a work load these days, while staying home. Apart from household and usual work, people have this weird idea that we have a lot of time at hand and we can take up courses, pursue hobbies, talk to people, listen to music and do everything else in the world that there is to do. Honestly, there isn’t enough time. This time might as well be used to slow down and do those things we find joy & meaning in and not really a plethora of courses or activities.

Everyone’s trying to keep themselves engaged. Family WhatsApp groups have strange emoji quizzes going on, while our HR has begun a challenge in which you need to send pictures of yourself doing the activity –of-the-day. Calls & online-courses have also become compelling. Friends have found apps on which we can play games and do fun things. So much camaraderie and virtual gathering for what? To address our fears of loneliness? Or the pertinent need of purpose and participation?

Let not this period tire us down. I am only trying to make commitments that I can keep and those I care for. This time is teaching me to value what I must and ignore what I can. It’s building patience and resilience. For a future, I hope I can see with moist eyes and a warm heart. A future which has alive, all those we love. A future we’d like to step into.

The conspiracy theories against China are abound on the Internet. There is so much content around the virus that it’s nearly impossible to wrap one’s head around it. An option is to ignore and dive into your comfort of not keeping up with the news. To enjoy the solitude of your bedroom and watch fun happy stuff, binging on cheese & chips. Many are opting for the same. I guess its okay. To each his or her own. What’s not okay, however, is to act like it’s just a three week break and everything’s going to bounce back to normal in a snap.

Mind you, with this pandemic, I can’t even begin to articulate the width of the change that we all may personally undergo. Some of us may take time to realize it but it’s happening to us right now, right here. We may re-evaluate our life decisions, our life choices. We may realize who we truly love and what we truly enjoy. And we may take steps to lead a life more fulfilling than we already have.

An ex-boss and a dear friend had called today to check on me. It’s always such a joy to have a conversation with him. I have been blessed with great bosses in general. He’s super smart and I usually don’t have much to say that he already doesn’t know. But today came a moment of pride when I shot some facts on Corona that he hadn’t kept pace with. I am okay to enjoy this cheap thrill which equates information to intellect. Deep down I know, it’s not true. But I deserve my moments, especially these days, right?

Anyway, I am glad I was able to write something somewhat neutral today. Anything not bordering on depressed or morbid is quite an achievement for me.

Happy to sign off with lesser fluctuating emotions.

Before I go, would like to show-off my new writing space J

Until tomorrow, Let’s pray for those who need it the most.

26th March 2020 - 2nd DAY OF COMPLETE LOCK-DOWN OF INDIA

13^TH DAY OF MY SOCIAL ISOLATION

645 POSITIVE, 13 DEAD

General feeling: “Of depression and anxiety. Suddenly something that seemed like a logical step is now feeling cruel. It is settling in that we’re all stuck in this swamp with no clear timelines & solutions. It’s time to accept and internalize how difficult things are going to get for everyone. Especially the elderly, the poor and the lonely”

Today was particularly difficult. News of the lock-down leaving thousands stranded in unknown cities, mostly the daily wage earners, migrant laborers, women with small children,  child-workers, the urban poor, the lonely elderly couples. Practical problems of low-cash availability, poor essential services despite repeated confirmations from authorities and lack of protective gear for people stuck at railway-stations (like Howrah), or night shelters (of Delhi) have started cropping up.

This has made me particularly depressed. Not that I couldn’t fore-see it. But real life stories bring emotions to the brim. I read an article today of a group of laborers walking back home to Rajasthan as their owners shut shop in Gujarat. They had decided to walk hundreds of kilometers in the upcoming summer heat. A Hindi term that comes to mind – ‘Laachaar’. The maid who worked in my previous house called asking for cash since she had no money and her husband sat at home without work.  ‘Majboor’.

I had woken up late today, hoping for the sun to be at it’s complete glory. I wanted to wake up to hot summer sun with abundant light. It seemed to me that sunshine will bring some chirp into my other-wise depressed mood. Unfortunately, the morning was rather dull and cloudy. The air felt musky and uncharacteristically quiet.

I began the day with the resolution to work a lot. Only work was going to bring the much needed distraction. I had stressed enough about my flu-like conditions which have been keeping me low for the last three days. Also, my grandpa had slipped last night and lay on the floor until help arrived only four hours later in the wee hours of Wednesday morning so he could be lifted and put back in bed. It wrenched my heart to empathize with his helplessness. An 87 year old man lying on cold floor all night because his old wife and ageing son couldn’t muster enough strength to pick him up. Grandad (I call him Baba Sahab) has an issue with one leg and one hand. 

Despite his disability which has been ever since I’ve known him, he’s a jolly character. Always tiding by difficult times with such sense of normalcy and strange humor, he’s almost an inspiration. I managed to do a video call with him the other day. Took a screenshot of the two of us in the same frame, somewhere in my heart fearing the unknown. I am slowly internalizing the fact that there may soon come a time, we both may not chat again. Corona or otherwise. My grandparents are in Jaipur & naturally highly susceptible.

We’ve never really faced a situation when going home, or reaching out to loved ones was an impossibility. That time is here now. It compels me to feel for those, who’ve seldom had these privileges. Corona has brought many of us down to our knees. Including Prince Charles. Haha. No offense!

Doesn’t help that I have also started to PMS. (Yes, it’s a real thing that happens to most women). I get to know I am hormonal either when I get unnecessarily angry or sad. Today I got both. I cried because I was angry at someone’s casual harmless joke. What a mess!

The best moment of the day however has been the time I could take out to write this down. Writing is a real therapy for some. Hoping I can continue this for the next few weeks.

Until tomorrow, stay home. Wash Hands. Smile (try to?)